I don’t want to appear younger than my years. It’s perfectly OK that I look my age.
I know the beauty industry tries to convince us that we need to look at least 10 years younger than our true biological age, but why? I’ve received messages telling me I look ten years younger, and also 10 or more years older, it really doesn’t matter how old I look, its how old I feel, and I feel the same as I did when I was 18. I eat a varied whole food plant based diet, exercise daily, limit my time on social media and I spend lots of time in nature. It takes effort to feel good, sadly there’s no magic pill. I feel full of energy and ready to take on any challenge. More on this another day, I write less on Instagram posts as the limit on the number of words is too challenging for me!
I took this shot on arriving home from the construction site. My hair was covered in dust and was happily doing it’s own thing. I wandered into the bathroom and picked up the scissors. You see, my hair is falling out. … It’s normal. I have an under active thyroid and it causes my hair to wave goodbye to my scalp by the handful. Sometimes more than others. It’s OK, it’s only hair. 10 minutes of snipping and I have a shorter style.
It doesn’t matter if I look 54, 64 or even more. I just hope I look healthy and happy, as that’s my only wish.
Today is a good day! My inner Rottweiler was released in pursuit of a large unpaid client invoice which is causing me sleepless nights. I’ve mentioned it in my stories and it’s been making me very anxious.
I find it amusing when C level executives try to intimidate me with their title. I am a business owner, CEO of my own business, so there’s little which ruffles my feathers or makes me feel the slightest bit inferior …… to anyone. We are a small business, offering our clients exceptional project delivery and customer service. But a service is invisible, unlike a delivery of 50 desks which you can clearly see sitting in your office. So, in difficult times like those we are in today, payments are delayed because there is no product we can retrieve and little we can do to recover a service already provided.
But having worked my way up from the bottom, in companies of all sizes from many nations, I know how companies work and what scares the pants off them.
Mr Big Cheese CEO is no longer wearing his pants today.
Everyone takes a poop. Nobody is better than me. We all entered the world in the same way and nobody is getting out alive. I find intimidation amusing. As long as my life isn’t in danger, I do enjoy a bit of calm but forceful confrontation to defend my interests.
I look sweet and kind, which of course I am to a point… But I hate people trying to take advantage of me. That’s when the Rottweiler appears. I learned these skills with age. Another reason ageing rocks!
Lets talk about filters. I am asked often if I use them and the answer is ‘no’. I only use Instagram editing to modify the brightness, shadows and highlights. I simply can’t be bothered to do anything else, it’s just too much effort.
I know lots of women (and men!) use filters with wonderful professional results. Some are filtered to a particular hue or effect, some smooth out wrinkles and make your eyes pop. But, when I started looking for women my age for inspiration just over a year ago, I didn’t find many unfiltered shots of natural ageing…. no botox, no fillers, no facelifts etc. So I started my own.
I have friends who have gone under the knife, with tucks, liposuction and a full facelift and it made them happy. Others with botox, lip fillers, makeup tattoos and it made them happy too. We should do whatever we need to make us happy. Dye your hair? Do it! Shave your head? Do it! Lip fillers? Of course …and so on. I’m happy to watch my face slowly melt into old age. Which reminds me of a story. When Seb was 8 he asked what would happen if we put a doll in the oven. I said ‘Lets find out!’. So we popped Barbi (no idea where she came from as I don’t have a daughter – sorry to whoever left it at my house) into the oven, then took her out at 5 minute intervals. Pity we didn’t document it as it was incredibly funny. Barbi aged very quickly. Her face melted, her hair made it’s way down her face and her boobs sagged under her arms within 10 minutes. I now know how she felt. I want to be a positive ageing role model to the younger women in my family and to daughters of friends too. But, if you have coloured hair, botox, fake boobs and you’re happy, thats also a positive role model. Never worry about the opinion of others. Join which tribe you want, we can all still be friends and happy with our own choices.
She has sparkling hair, or maybe cherry red… or any colour of the rainbow. It’s whichever colour makes her feel happy and confident. She cares. She’s kind. She wears what she wants. Dr Marten boots with a pretty dress? She likes it, thats all that matters. She wears her hair long, in a messy bun. Or maybe her head is shaved, an undercut, dreadlocks. Her choice. She dances, she sings, she loves her life. She knows she is lucky, she is here. She’s visible. She’s bold. She’s brave. She’s fearless. She’s wise. She loves every stretch mark from weight gained, weight lost, perhaps a baby, or maybe not. She likes her squidgy belly. It’s warm and soft. A perfect pillow. She walks. She talks. She breathes in the morning air and is thankful each day. She smiles. She makes time for herself, to be the best she can be. She’s caring. She’s mindful. She’s compassionate. She wears sexy undies, big knickers, no knickers, she can wear whatever she damned likes. She wears pink lipstick, red lipstick, no lipstick. They are her lips to choose. She has tattoos, no tattoos, dreams of tattoos, get that tattoo! She’s slim, she’s shapely, she is lean, she is the shape she wants to be. She is everything she never dared to be. This is her time to shine. She is me.
This is me. No makeup. No light adjustments. Just natural old me chilling in the woods on a bed of ivy, soaking in the energy of the earth.
I didn’t like this face much before with it’s wrinkles, sunspots, scars and blemishes. But I’ve learned to love it’s natural state with almost invisible eyelashes and fire scarred skin (you can see red patches on the left side of the photo). It’s such a pity some of the quality is lost when posting on Insta, as you can clearly see the trees above me reflecting in my eyes in the original pic which is lovely. I often find a quiet spot in the dappled light to bathe in the magic of the woodland. Safely tucked amongst the ferns, beech and oak trees, watching the boughs move gently in the wind, their leaves tickled by the breeze. This is my moment of meditation. The birds calling and singing loudly at first light, full of joy, celebrating another shiny new day. The moist dew settled on the fresh leaves and grasses, tips tiny pools of cool tranquillity onto my skin as I join the bugs on the woodland floor.
The violet and blue tones have completely washed out of my hair and I am back to my natural sparkles. I’ve been using #whitehothair shampoo which has really made my whites pop. Check out all my hidden shades of silver on the sides! The other day I mentioned in my stories that I’d gained 8lbs/3.6kg in a very short time…. 2 weeks! I had very puffy legs which is unusual and my face was quite swollen. I had been enjoying red wine again and maybe got a bit carried away with a glass (or two) every day. I had a mini meltdown seeing the scales shouting my gains as I am very careful with my weight, having spent most of my life carrying too many extra pounds. Today I woke up with my ankles back to normal and my weight down by 4lbs. Still 4lbs to go but thats better than 8. I desperately don’t want to gain weight, I feel great and want it to stay that way. Maybe I am suffering with water retention but I have no idea what would cause it. I’m laying off the wine regardless. Yesterday I (finally!) met up with my gorgeous friend Emily (I hadn’t seen her for almost 3 months) and her two Vizslas. We enjoyed a socially distanced stroll along the oak tree lined river in Totnes and swam in the cool and refreshing gently flowing river with the 4 dogs. It was an absolute joy to see Emily and to wallow in the dark fresh water straight off the moors. A new batch of freshly hatched yellow and black striped ducklings joined us in the shallows, which caused chaos as Ginger wanted to eat them all as they darted in every direction. I managed to scoop Ginger up and carry her to shore to allow the fluffy bundles to enjoy their first adventures along the river bank without a pair of excited teeth snapping at their tail fuzz. I’d really missed Emily, our walks and chatter. Apart from people, what did you miss most during lockdown? Hair: @whitehothair Lipstick: Paige – @thrivecausemetics Earrings: @_jasperrocks #matureskinmakeup#maturemakeup#over50#midlife#grayhair#greyhair
Wow its been a long 2 weeks! Thank you to everyone who sent me a message following my story post about my husband. It’s day 13 today and he’s finally out of bed and eating again. Day one started with a dry cough and fatigue. Day 2 – 7 a fever, no appetite and complete fatigue. He was asleep for a total of 10 days. His skin was the colour of wax. I walked into the bedroom day 6 and actually thought he was dead he was such a strange colour and lifeless. Day 11 the colour returned to his cheeks and he started eating a little. I had to shout at him to get him to drink the whole time he was ill, he was so sleepy and disinterested in food or drink.
I’ve been posting on my stories with snippets of my early morning walk. Nobody panic that I am out and about and potentially contagious. I rarely see anyone on my walk and if I do I climb up into the woods to completely avoid all contact. Walking Ginger & Bird kept me sane and I am very lucky that Seb is back home helping me with the dogs and chores. Also, I believe I had the virus 4 weeks ago when I was in bed for 10 days. No testing unless hospitalised so I will possibly never know. I haven’t worn makeup for almost 2 weeks and I’ve been living in my workout gear to help me run up and down the stairs all day. So today I thought I’d put on something pretty, blow dry and braid my hair and slap on some makeup to make me feel feminine again. It’s amazing what a difference a bit of lippy and eyeshadow can make to my mood. I feel so much happier and positive. We’ve had some sunshine this week so my whites are starting to sparkle again. Loving my braids!
There isn’t an inch of my home which hasn’t been painted in the past few days. We are trying to stay busy, keeping ourselves occupied whilst we stay indoors. Business is quiet as most companies are not recruiting at this time. We hope that our outstanding invoices are paid so that we can survive financially for the next few months.
Everyone is suffering. We must remain positive and enjoy the freedom we have to remain at home. In other countries, people are forced from their homes and businesses, escaping with only the clothes on their back. I met a Syrian refugee several years ago and his story was heartbreaking. Sat at his desk in the bank, he received a call from his father, telling him to leave work immediately and to run as far away as possible to find safety.
He came from a very close family, everyone living on the same street. Everyone eating together and providing financial and emotional support, their lives completely intertwined. He eventually settled on the streets in Turkey, one sister in Germany, the other in Canada. They didn’t want to be apart or living in someone else’s country, they just wanted to go home, but home didn’t exist any more. He had a good job in Syria, but made money in Turkey cleaning shoes. Life changed so quickly for him.
I often think about him and his family, torn apart by war.
I feel very blessed that I can remain at home, in contact with my friends and family. Even though some food is in short supply, I still have access to fresh produce.
Instead of feeling sorry for myself at this time of confinement, I am very grateful that I have the opportunity to remain in my own home with fresh water and clean clothes.