Anonymous asked 2 years ago
I’ve not yet found the courage to break out of a relationship that I feel is causing me to feel depressed and sad. The problem is he’s a good man who suffers from debilitating depression that affects us both. He’s semi retired and home all the time whilst waiting to start a new job (12 hours a week and he’s complaining about it!) He never wants to do anything apart from watch TV and sleep. It’s my house and I keep feeling that I want him to leave but he’s nowhere to go, no income and I’ll hurt him terribly. Do I grin and bear it or take the plunge. I have tried to talk to him and there’s a small improvement but not for long. Is it even fair of me to expect him to change?
gailmc Staff answered 2 years ago
This reply just came from a lady via DM on FiftySister – Instagram:
Gail I just read the what that lady has written .. bless her I was in the exact same situation and I couldn’t bare it anymore so I asked him to leave after 10 years plus you know what I don’t know where the strength has come from but I feel better in myself and tell that lady to do it … I hit 55 two weeks ago that hit me hard and I thought bugger it I’m not spending the little time I have left to be unhappy xx she has to do it xx
Beverley1969 answered 2 years ago
You cannot ruin your life as well. He needs help, and maybe won’t do anything about his depression unless he’s forced to accept how it’s affecting you. How long can you grin and bear it? 10 years? 20 years? Life and time are precious. Sending you love, light and strength. x
Flipflopwanderer answered 2 years ago
This is mental torture. I hope you find the strength to move on and make the right decision. I am single after 25 years of marriage. My husband sat around watching TV and moaning incessantly about everything. One day, he moaned about the colour of the cup I made his tea in. The tea went in the sink and he was helped out of the door. It was an easy decision at that point because I was now broken too. It took time to re-build myself, but I’m attempting dating now, wiser and more picky!
The question is: are you willing to take care of you? If this is the case, your decisions, actions, thoughts, reactions will be leading to a change, whatever change this will be.
No one is responsible for your happiness other than you.
The life you live right now with your partner, is chosen by you.
ofcourse it might be cruel to say, you are not responsible for others, but look at you, read your words and think about what you wish for yourself.
No one can give advice what you should do or not.
The question is: are you willing to take care of you? If this is the case, your decisions, actions, thoughts, reactions will be leading to a change, whatever change this will be.
No one is responsible for your happiness other than you.
The life you live right now with your partner, is chosen by you.
ofcourse it might be cruel to say, you are not responsible for others, but look at you, read your words and think about what you wish for yourself.
No one can give advice what you should do or not.