Is it my place to say something, or do I keep quiet?

QuestionsCategory: RelationshipsIs it my place to say something, or do I keep quiet?
oreomonkey asked 1 month ago

This is complicated, but I would really like some advice. My friend in his 70’s has cancer. He’s had an operation and currently having treatment. His sister hasn’t spoken to him for a few years (her decision, not his) so has no idea that he is sick. I have contact details for the sister. Do I tell her or should I keep quiet? If I tell the sister, she will only contact her brother because he is sick, and he won’t like that. If I don’t tell the sister, and he doesn’t make it, and she finds out I knew he was sick, does that make me a bad person? I’m currently keeping quiet and supporting the brother who is my friend. I am not on friendly terms with the sister either. I said it was complicated. Thank you for helping me.

1 Answers
gailmc Staff answered 1 month ago

I see your dilema. I feel your loyalty is with your friend – the brother. Maybe ask him if he wants you to let his sister know? If he wanted her to know, he would have done that already though I feel. Hopefully we will have more answers from other contributors, who can help with their own experience.

Lisa replied 1 month ago

I agree with you, also would like to add that respecting a friends decision would not make you a bad person.

cheri replied 3 weeks ago

My first thought was to ask your friend what he wants. His wishes have to come first. If you do what he wants then you have nothing to worry about later.